It's Obama-palooza starring Bono, Beyonce, Springsteen, Usher...

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Jake Turcotte

Hey, what do you get when you have Garth Brooks, Beyonce, Bono, Sheryl Crow, Mary J Blige, Usher, Herbie Hancock, Bruce Springsteen, Shakira, James Taylor, John Mellencamp, and Stevie Wonder all on the same stage?

Well if they're all singing their own songs concurrently -- it's a giant train wreck.  But we're assuming that's not going to happen.

Big party

The Presidential Inaugural Committee finally released the names of the big-time entertainers that will kick off the 56th Presidential Inaugural on Sunday, January 18 from 7:00 - 9:00pm (ET).

The event entitled "We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial" is so jam-packed with entertainers, you may wonder how the heck are they going to cram it into a two-hour window.

Who knows?  But the lineup sounds great.

It's kind of like a 2009 version of Van Halen's "Monsters of Rock" tour when they toured with Metallica and the Scorpions (except none of these bands are invited).

Historical readings

If you're not into music but prefer historical readings, Team Obama has you covered.

Packed in between the musical selections will be said readings by Jamie Foxx, Martin Luther King III, Queen Latifah and Denzel Washington.

Top notch

Not surprisingly the people putting on the show are pros.  Real pros.  They aren't like the guys who you hired to do your high school Christmas dance in the gym.

They nabbed Don Mischer -- he's the guy who put on the opening ceremonies for the 2002 Winter Olympics, the opening and closing ceremonies for the 1996 Summer Olympics, the Emmy Awards, and the halftime shows for many of the Super Bowls (but not the wardrobe malfunction one).

He also unknowingly dropped the f-bomb on CNN in 2004 when the balloons didn't come down on time at the Democratic National Convention.  But let's not bring that up.

"This is a great opportunity to capture an historic event in a very meaningful setting," Mischer said in a press release. "We will have the statue of Abraham Lincoln looking down on our stage and a crowd of hundreds of thousands of people lining the mall -- a tableau any director would relish."

Food

Speaking of relish, the food at the Inaugural will be a salute to Abraham Lincoln.  We speculated yesterday that this meant five-dollar foot-longs from Subway.  We were wrong.  That means they will be serving Lincoln-era food.

So does that mean squirrel-on-a-stick or ground beat porridge?  Nope.  Those invited to the ultra-exclusive Obama luncheon will have seafood stew, pheasant, duck, and sponge cake.  Click here to read up on the menu.

HBO

How can you tune in?

Well, as we told you last week HBO has the exclusive rights to the telecast.  They are distributing the signal, however, all over the place.  This means if you have cable or satellite TV, you can watch it.

If you get TV the old-fashioned way, you may be out of luck.

To read the official release, click here.

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